What the FORK is this all about?

I know, I know... another damn blog. Well... you're reading it!

Since I am already a food snob... why not share my experiences from the places I have been to.

Hopefully this will help promote the good restaurants, and increase their business, and demote the crappy ones so that they change something.

The basis of this blog will be me judging restaurants, cafes, food trucks... basically anyplace that charges me to feed myself.

I only make 2 promises: I will be honest & I will not censor myself.

Sounds like fun eh?

My judging will be based off of these 3 things:

1. People
2. Food
3. Atmosphere

I will then break down each of these categories into more details.

People:

• How am I greeted? - NO... eye contact is not considered a greeting!
• What is their enthusiasm level? - do I feel like I am in a morgue or at a circus?
• How is the service? - do they talk or just sling my food at me?

Food:

• How does it look? - did I molest it with my eyes before I ravished it with my mouth?
• How does it taste? - does it make me want more... or does it taste like I am eating dried potpourri?
• How are the portions based on the 3S scale? - do I leave satisfied, stuffed or starving?

Atmosphere:

• Do I feel welcome? - in other words, do I walk in and feel like I am going to be welcomed, raped, or murdered?
• What is the ambience like? - is it "romantical" or "nomantical", would I come here for a date, by myself, or both?
• Was the overall cost worth the overall experience? Do I feel like I paid for a call-girl and got a crack-whore, or do I feel like I paid for a Pinto and drove off with a BMW?

Unlike my other blogs, I will mention names (so watch out!!) and I will post pictures (of the food, and only of people if they have given permission). 

At the end of each posting I will give the restaurant a rating... and to keep things spicy (cuz we know how much I like the spice of life) I will email the restaurant with a link to the posting about their restaurant and my experience there. I will also WELCOME them to leave any comments they like on the blog!

My ratings will be based on the "Fork No or Fork Yeah" system.

Did I enjoy my experience?

Would I eat there again?

Would I recommend this place to others?

The maximum rating a restaurant can get is 3 FORK YEAHs!!!

This means that hands down, this is a restaurant that you need to eat at if you have the ability.

The minimum is a 3 FORK NOs!!!

This means not only should you not eat there... but you should tell your friends to stay the FORK away from there should they mention eating there!

For the poorly rated restaurants, my goal here is not to slander them, but to provide constructive feedback from a customer's perspective. We (the customer) are after all what keeps them in business, so why would they not want our suggestions! 

For the highly rated restaurants, my goal is to make them so much money that their food and service keeps getting better! I think in today's world good customer service and great food is often overlooked. I believe if I experience such great things, I will do whatever I can to make the owners, servers, and cooks as much money as I possibly can with the best advertising of all... word of mouth! 

So with that being said.....

Let the plates begin...